Self-Care & Self-Regulation Tools for Stressful Moments - by Melisha Pillay

We all go through daily life faced with trials and temptations in fact one thing the apostles Paul and Timothy assured us of is persecution. However, in that dilemma there is a promise from God.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” – James 1:12

This promise is there for us to reach into and lay hold of in times of difficulty however, sometimes the stress of it all can become too much. If you find yourself feeling triggered with negative behaviour and actions, you may want to consult with a counsellor to help you.

As a Christian Counsellor, I would like to share 2 little exercises that could help you during these trying times. I have laid out a few vital points to consider with regard to our actions and behaviour – assessing if it is appropriate for the situations or whether we can do better. I believe that the Lord wants us to live full and whole lives and journeying into this is part and parcel of our conduct as Christians.

I have a quick tool I would like to share to assess reactions and behaviours –  I like to call it “Time for a H.A.L.T!” H.A.L.Ting can help you identify common triggers. Intrigued much? Ok, so let’s dive into what this acronym stands for?

Hunger and anger are controlled by the same pool of genes called neuropeptide Y. This natural chemical is released in the brain when someone is hungry. So, if you are hungry, it is likely that you might become easily angered.

If you are hungry –  think about how well your diet is serving you.

Are you eating enough nutritional food regularly?

Being aware of who or what you are angry about can allow you to separate it from the rest of your day. Investigate your anger and try to look at other interpretations to the situation in order to help you gain a broader perspective. Then think of how you can direct this anger into something positive eg. Go for a walk, meditate on the word of God, play soothing music.

We serve a God who enjoys being in communion with us so it is natural for us to require that from others. If you are feeling lonely or isolated consider these: how can I increase my interaction with others? Can I do something nice for someone? Sometimes in the pit of your loneliness, helping others can make a huge change in your disposition because in caring for others, we find reward. Think about doing something you enjoy when lonely eg. Taking up a new interest or hobby, there are a vast array of social groups in the community that you can join.

Monitor your sleep patterns and work out what the best sleeping hours for you are to function at your optimum. Deprivation of sleep can also cause other health issues because when you sleep, it is the body’s time to repair and heal.

If you have considered these few areas that might be affecting your behaviour then this awareness will be key to your improvement. Practice thinking about these things until your triggers become prevalent and you find a pattern in your way of thinking then take this to the Lord in prayer.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God – Philipians 4:6

Another exercise that helps is Affirmation…

I recall doing a similar exercise in the Freedom In Christ course which can be adapted to your needs. Affirming your beliefs in Christ will help drown out the negative voices. Speaking affirmations over your life is your way of giving yourself emotional support, better known as self-regulating. This is crucial in developing a healthy and mature defence mechanism. It gives you a chance to self-talk, reprogramming your thoughts in alignment to the truth. So go on and get programming your thoughts in accordance to the word of God. I have inserted a link below which I have found helpful in gaining an idea of what scriptures can be used.

Awareness is the first step so hopefully, I have given you enough psychoeducation to allow some self-awareness in the areas in your life that you have been struggling with. Read this again, understand it, practice it and step into living the best life you have been given in Christ Jesus.