Hello beautiful,
Yes, you… you are beautiful, worthy and valued. And if you don’t believe that then grab a coffee and sit down while I tell you why you are. As a Christian Counsellor, I seek ways to highlight the importance of Mental Health in our walk as children of God. I find satisfaction in discovering paths to healing through Biblical principles. I believe that God created us as intricate and multi-faceted beings who are to enjoy the journey of life in wholeness – body, Spirit and Mind.
A significant part of living in this fullness is being able to see ourselves through the eyes of Christ. The Bible says He fearfully and wonderfully created us, yet so often we find difficulty believing this. To help us view ourselves in a better light, I have decided to touch on the topic of self–esteem.
What is self-esteem?
This term broadly falls under the umbrella for our self-image, self-perception, self-confidence, self-acceptance, self-worth and self-respect. There is an ebb and flow for the tide levels of our self-esteem in different situations and it is normal so long as it is healthy.
But as Christians, what is a healthy level?
It is knowing the word of God in order to allow those truths to remain as consistent as His love for us. This level of truth should be maintained through the adversities of our life. Accepting ourselves as He does. Born with a sinful nature but given the Holy Spirit to overcome. You cannot look inward to self for esteem because without Christ we are empty. So, let’s actually rename that to “Christ-Esteem”. Christ must be the source because He determines our worth and beauty. The building blocks to this foundation is based on having a true image of God. He is worthy and He created us in His image so we are worthy through Him.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness” – Genesis 1:26
Self-esteem suffers a bad reputation because of the misconception of selfishness or self-love that is self-seeking. But Christ- esteem is about the understanding of our true worth and value in Christ.
How does low self-esteem occur?
I develop an unhealthy belief about self…
- I develop these thoughts saying, I am unloved, I am useless…
- I begin to lose self-confidence…
- I lose trust in myself, others or the world around me…
- I lose my voice, I begin to people-please…
- I allow myself to be inferior, bullied and taken advantage of…
- I begin to resent others and develop negative thoughts about them…
- I then feel guilty about resenting them…
- I become self-critical and devalue myself…
- I self-destruct in ways to punish myself for this thinking/ behaviour…
- I begin to hate me…
- I repeat the cycle and further develop an unhealthy belief about myself.
How do I break this cycle?
Seeking the truth revealed in the Word is the only path to Christ-esteem. Undressing ourselves of the old garments of false doctrines and redressing ourselves with the truth. To discover who God really is, we must investigate why we may have distorted our view of Him. Here’s how some of these fears come into play…
God will act the same way my parents did –
Many thoughts from childhood creep into our lives without much notice or question. If we did not feel accepted by our parents because we did not meet their expectations, we think that God will do the same. Yet we are accepted, loved and not condemned as Romans 8:1 clearly states “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Abandonment issues -
If I have felt loss in the past, I may be uncertain about my future but in Hebrews 13:5 God says “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Emotionally vacant –
If our feelings are not understood or validated this can cause us to hide it away. A huge part of our being is emotional because we were made to feel as Romans 12:15 encourages – “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
Abuse –
We have all been stung by the bee of abuse be it emotional or physical. As a result, we feel that God can’t love us because we are not worthy. But He is all-loving, accepting and faithful as Lamentations 3:22 reassures us– “The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease”.
Unreliable –
If we have never had a dependable person that we could/ can totally rely upon we become bitter, disheartened, and lonely. But Deuteronomy 32:4 says otherwise because
Jesus is “The Rock! His work is perfect,
For all His ways are just;
A God of faithfulness and without injustice,
Righteous and upright is He”.
I pray that as you have read through those fears, the Lord may bring to light the areas that you have struggled in. Now take this awareness, as a weapon in your fight during the unlearning. Try to put behind you those negative whispers about yourself or your past. Begin to relearn all about the love of the Lord, His intentions for you and His unfailing sustenance. Cry out to Him and ask for Him to fill you with a new understanding of Him. Begin to speak these truths in your life. Be intentional, reading scripture and etching it in your heart. By carrying this with you, you will begin to start believing in faith and these truths will start healing every wound, insecurity and fear. Because in Christ there is no fear but only perfect love.
Why do we need Christ-esteem in our lives?
To live full and rich lives, we need to walk in the freedom that the Lord intended for us. Free from condemnation and captivity. By exercising this lifestyle, we become witnesses of the glory of God ultimately fulfilling his purposes for us. So go on my sister and live your best life for Christ. God bless you.
Here are some reliable self–help resources and websites if you are struggling with this issue:
Hey Melisha, what a beautifully penned and heart-to-heart connection this article is!
Indeed, the Father’s love for us encompasses our whole being, intricately weaving our spirit, soul and body. When Christ is at the centre of our lives, we really walk in His “Christ-esteem’ as we undress our self esteem and put on His garment of righteousness. You have captured the essence of this point beautifully, further wrapping it with scriptures from the Word of God, which is our daily manna. Continue in this vein and above all I pray that your soul prospers as you plough into the Master’s field.
Linda Pearl Ramnath
https://www.donotsettleforsecondbest.com/blog/
Love the phrasing “christ-esteem” so, so good!
I love it too Gabby
Beautifully written! This comment pierced my heart… “You cannot look inward to self for esteem because without Christ we are empty.”
Thank you so much Felicia, it really resonated with me too!