Choose Joy

Christian & Single: Trusting God's Timing When You Want To Get Married Now!

Hey Friend,

Have you ever struggled with God’s timing when it doesn’t fit your agenda?

I’ve had an untold amount of conversations, Instagram DM’s, what’s app messages from beautiful-hearted women out there that are hoping to meet someone one day, but they feel like it’s taking too long! They believe they'll meet someone, BUT THEY WANT IT NOW! I realised that many of them are believing God that they 'will" meet someone! But a trend I noticed is that they’re totally struggling with the 'when?'

“I want to get married but it’s taking sooo loooong” is a common cry! “When will I meet someone?”

Doubt creeps and I hear comments like:

  • I think I’m single because I have kids from a previous relationship so no-one will want me
  • I’m not pretty enough
  •  I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone
  • I can't wait anymore (meaning I'm just going to settle for a man not worthy of me)
  • There are no men in the church
  • There are no good Christian men left

These above are all lies!

Worrying, stressing and obsessing about meeting someone will not make him come along any sooner!!!!! Hello somebody! Every time you go to a conference, a wedding, church, you’re like ‘Am going to meet him? Is today the day?’ You’ve signed up for every Christian dating app going and still no progress (not that there is anything wrong with online dating!) and every time someone is not a match you beat yourself up about it. But have you ever met someone so focused on being married in the future, that they are not really living and enjoying the present? They are missing out on this beautiful current season in their life.

Some of Us Believers Often Know In Our Hearts That God ‘Can’, But Struggle To Trust In His 'When'!

I’ve been like that too in the past! But after trying to rush the process and making too many mistakes, I surrendered to God’s way and timing. He’s the parent right, so He must know best! Do you trust your Daddy to know what’s best and when is best? You might be a very organised person with 5-year life plan, but the human vision is often short-sighted in comparison to God’s view of eternity.

When reading about the life of Sarah and Abraham in the Bible these words pop off the page

"...at the appointed time...." (Gen 21 v2, Genesis 17:21). Those words get me every time!

At the appointed time

God's Timing Is Perfect

They knew that God had a vision, a plan, a hope, direction, a destiny and a purpose for their life that would impact all of humanity. What happened when Sarah tried to rush God’s timing and interfered with God's plan? It didn't stop God's plan from playing out but because Sarah's inability to wait for God to allow it to happen in His time, multiple people in the story ended up with broken hearts. Sarah, Hagar, Ishmael and Abraham to name a few.

God know’s the best time for the vision to come to fruition and his timing was perfect.

So today I want to encourage my single ladies in Christ today. That God is faithful; he has not forgotten you. If God could find someone for Adam when there were no other human beings on the planet then He can find someone for you. But are you willing to embrace this single season?

You are not single because something is wrong with you. Let go of where you think you should be, how the world tells you should be and where the church sometimes pressures singles to be, and instead seek Gods face knowing that he holds your eternity.

- Your value is beyond calculation
- You are a delightful masterpiece of the Most High God
- As a daughter of the King you have royalty built into your DNA
- You are a conqueror and a warrior for Christ
- You can set your attitude to live from a place of gratitude

 

Having faith, is about more than just knowing God can and that He is able, it’s also about trusting his time too.

Habakkuk 2:3 says “For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the goal - it will not fail. If it seems slow, WAIT for it; it will surely come, it will not delay.

trust in God's timing when you are a christian single

Speaking from my own experience, when I said “Lord, I will not compromise, and I do not care if I am 50 when I get married, I don’t care how old I get, I just want I serve you with my whole heart. Single or married. I trust in your timing” and I took my list of things that I wanted in a husband, and I took this letter that I had written to God about getting married, and I binned them both and declared, ‘Lord, you know what I want but most importantly you know what I need and when’. I prayerfully let go and gave it all to him. My single time, from then on was well spent.

I went into ministry, serving as God called me to, and guess what? Right there, that’s where I met my Mr. Right-For-Me. Serving in ministry together. After raising my boys as a single mum for 17 years (now that’s a long time) BY THE GRACE OF GOD, I have now, been married to my caring, loving, born-again, holy-ghost filled, talented designer, man-crush-every-day for almost 2 years. I’m not saying to go into ministry and you’ll meet your husband, I’m saying that I was so busy living my life on PURPOSE and being PRESENT, that without out even noticing it I ended up being POSITIONED to meet him.

Live Your Best Life

Live in abundance. If God can do it for me He will do it for you....at the perfect time. 💓📸💍

We recently did a 4 week study on Philippians in our Facebook group. Philippians 4:23 Paul says this “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content”. Ask God to help you to be content in Him in every season. Journey through Philippians with Paul and see what it's like to choose Joy in all circumstances of life. (You can find a journal Guide here)

Here are some scriptures about God’ timing and learning to rely on God:

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 16:9 – A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 – He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know you trust God is able and He will, but can you trust in His ‘when’?

With heart & hope,

Shovorne


Here's a call to action:

1. Join the conversation below and leave a comment about a time when have had to trust God's timing over your own.

2. send this article to a friend that might need a reminder that God's timing is perfect.

3. Follow u on Instagram for regular hope-filled squares 


Philippians in the bible


Saved and single don't settle for less

Christian & Single: Here's what happened when I stopped settling for less and idolising marriage

Hey Beautiful,

Ok, let's get to it. I promise not to keep you for long!

Remember, remember the 5th of November! 🎉🎉🎉 Why are you talking about Bonfire night on Valentine’s day you might ask? Well, 3 years & 3 months ago, bonfire night, I had my first date with a guy that handles me like I'm the last piece of gold to exist on planet Earth. I feel so precious and I thank God 💓

But like many Christian women the journey wasn't always easy. Once upon a time, in my past, as a young christian lady, I chose to stay with a guy that treated me terribly. It was a relationship in which I was mentally and physically drained and abused. It totally impacted my spiritual life for the worst (and he was a church boy) and I stayed in this horrible, unhealthy relationship for over two years. I was looking for love nd vildation in all the wrong places.

Today I still speak to Christian single ladies that are fed up of being single and rush.......to date the wrong guy. They feel like they are the only single one left on the planet (which is not really the truth) and that sometimes makes them wanna compromise! That could mean compromising on their Christian values, their purity, their relationship standards and expectations, what God has already promised them and other areas. They rush and end up with someone that is totally not good enough and as celebrations like valentines day come and go, it's also a day that make some singles feel even more sensitive about being single!

I Didn't Know My Worth

Back then I didn't know my worth. Those were the days when I was seeking my value in the created rather than the creator. Those were the days when I didn't understand that the main man in my life, Jesus, paid the price on a cross so that I could live life more abundantly.

I realised I was putting a relationship with a man before my relationship with God and I was loving this guy more than I loved myself. We weren't even married ya'll and there was me acting like I had a ring on my finger. As if I didn't bag him he would be the last man on earth. Do I blame him? No I had a choice. If I’m honest with myself, I was choosing to date the wrong guys! Fixer-uppers! Girl, I was there trying to pray him into a better man and down the aisle at the same time. I realised I was so desperate to be with someone and get married because I felt marriage would validate me to the rest of the world. I felt it was a badge of honour that told the rest of the world I was worthy of being loved. I was stuck in a horrid cycle of trying to fill a void - a void that I soon realised could only be filled by God. Can I get a hallelujah?

Jesus Makes Us Worthy. Not The Relationship we Are In

When I started to dive into God's word, to understand who God was, and who I was in God, then I saw change. In me. And my choices. Jesus can break every chain. And He did. I left the 'mean guy' and God drew me closer to Himself and I committed my life to serving Him.  I realised that He was all I needed! He is all that we all need. I stopped idolising marriage and the idea that it made me worthy! Jesus does that. He is the only one that makes us worthy.

I decided to fully commit to ministry and serving God wholeheartedly. Even if it meant staying single forever, I felt freedom. I remember saying “God, I just want to live my life serving You and living out the purpose You created me for. If I don’t meet anyone ‘til I’m 50, I’m fine with that. I let it go, it’s in Your hands, I just want to live in Your will and serve You.” I embraced my singleness and I was loving every minute of a happy and full life. I got on with raising my boys as a single mama; did my degree in business entrepreneurship; ran my own business; travelled; worked with multiple women’s ministries; ran events and a youth club for teen girls; and enjoyed every opportunity that God called me to.

The more I knew God, the more I fell in love with Him, then the more I got to know who I am in Christ, and the more I realised that God could meet all of my needs! That doesn't mean I never ever prayed about marriage or prepared my life so there would be room for it, and that doesn't mean that 'randoms' (as Heather Lyndsay would call them) didn't show up, but compromising for it was no longer an option. God knows the right time FOR EVERYTHING so just chill girl! Your relationship with God and yourself is key and priority

Find Your Value in Christ, Not Man

And you know how amazing our God is, right?

Fast forward several years, right there, in my submission to God, in ministry, I made a friend. A friend that would one day be the man I am married to now. I had nothing to do with it. Jesus was right at the centre of us coming together. We’d known each other for a few years and shared an office at church for several months. We worked together on multiple Christian events and developed a beautiful friendship. My husband treats me like an absolute diamond. He knows whose son he is. And he knows whose daughter I am.

 

Christian Interracial marriage at the altar in wedding dress and suit
Us - Dominic & I about to say 'I do' xxx

 

By then I knew exactly who I was in Christ and exactly what God wanted for me. My husband wasn't my validation because God had already given me that. My husband didn't make me the woman that I am but he compliments the woman that I am. And vice versa. God was my provider, my father, my counsellor, my guide, my everything. Now me and my husband are one and God does that for both of us.

Seek your value in the creator not the created. You're worth so much more, baby girl. You're God's precious daughter. Don't settle for less or stay with someone who treats you like dirt when God wants you to be with someone that will treasure you like a diamond! 😗

I will keep giving this word of encouragement because so many ladies are selling themselves short. Undervaluing themselves just because they want to be with someone, so they're settling for less than they deserve.

In our house we're not really big on Valentine’s day, but I will always remember the 5th of November. Our first date! If I had kept doing things my way who knows where I'd be now? But when I surrendered my desires to God, he did exceedingly and abundantly ABOVE all that I could have ever asked or hope for?

If there are 5 things I want you to take away from this:

  1. God first, spend time in God's word for yourself to know who He is and who you are
  2. Get to know yourself in Christ
  3. Your relationship status, single or married or complicated is not an indication of your worth
  4. Embrace the season that you are in wholeheartedly - have fun, grow, learn, make friends, serve (and the list can go on)
  5. You were so worth it to Jesus

- You are God's wonderful and extravagant work of art.

- You are the cherry on top of God's creative masterpiece

- You are a beautiful

- You are worthy

- You are so uniquely valuable that you are priceless

I just wanted to remind you of the truths above and that there is a very small snippet of the wonders of you! There are just so many layers of awesomeness to you! I'm so thankful that God designed you for a time such as this!

Let's pray.

Dear God, thank you. You never cease to amaze us. You showed me I am not a victim, I am a victor and You turned my mess into a message. I pray for my sisters in Christ that are single and hoping to meet someone one day. Help us all to keep our eyes on Christ where our help comes from. You are where we find our love and hope. You supply every single one of our needs. Help us to seek first Your kingdom, knowing and trusting that everything else will be added to us.  I pray that you put a peace in her heart, knowing that you now best. Remind her of her beauty and purpose and what you want for her to be doing now in this single season. Help her to embrace and love it! When she does arrive in her marital season, she will see so much of what she is doing in her single season, prepared her and blessed her for marriage. This single season is not a waste or something to be rushed away. It is not a time to be filled with random unworthy partners, but a time to dive deeper into a relationship with you. Thank you for sending your one and only son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins. He was so in love with us He gave His life for every one of us. He paid the price for our lives with His. True love. May every woman that is reading this and struggling to see her worth, find it in you. Thank you, Daddy xx Amen

Dear hubby, you are perfect for me! THANK YOU for the way you love me. I love you. Remember remember the 5th of November and happy Valentine's day xx