Christian & Single: Trusting God’s Timing When You Want To Get Married Now!

Hey Friend,

Have you ever struggled with God’s timing when it doesn’t fit your agenda, particularly when it comes to getting married?

I’ve had an untold amount of conversations, Instagram DM’s, what’s app messages from beautiful-hearted women out there that are hoping to meet someone one day, but they feel like it’s taking too long.

Have you ever met someone so focused on being married in the future, that they are not really living and enjoying the present? Hello somebody! Every time you go to a conference, a wedding, church, they’re like ‘Am going to meet him? Is today the day?’ And they just can’t enjoy the day? They’ve signed up for every Christian dating app going and still no progress (not that there is anything wrong with online dating!) but every time someone is not a match they beat them self up about it. Every time you meet up for conversation it’s the same sad conversation about being single.

Some of Us Believers Often Know In Our Hearts That God ‘Can’, But Struggle To Trust In His ‘When’!

I was one of those ladies that was so focused on getting to my marriage season. (And it’s OK to want to be prepared for marriage). The problem is that when we’re trying to look ahead of God’s time constantly, we often end up overlooking many of the blessings present in our current season & therefore we don’t find satisfaction and beauty where we are now. We miss out on what God is trying show us here & now.

Stressing and obsessing about meeting someone won’t make a man come along any sooner!!!!! At least not the right one anyway.  So why not find joy in where we are now?

Maybe something happened or someone said something mean thing to you in the past that has left you with growing insecurities and doubts. Maybe it was an ex partner or a family member and now you think:

  • I’m single because I have kids from a previous relationship so no-one will want me
  • I’m not good/pretty/slim/nice/kind enough
  • I can’t wait anymore (meaning I’m just going to settle for a man not worthy of me)
  • There are no men in the church
  • There are no good Christian men left
  • It just feels like God has forgotten about me
  • Everyone will meet the one except me
  • No one will want me as I am

The above are all lies. The enemy is a liar and an accuser of the saints and He will manipulate you into self-loathing and self-doubt so that you are too busy wallowing in self-pity, instead of getting on with living your life with authority and on purpose.

Once upon a time I found myself trying to rush my single season away. And in trying to rush the process I made too many mistakes. But one day when I realised I had the authority and power through Jesus Christ to crush every lie of the enemy and stand of the truth of almighty God, because I was not late, I was not behind, I was not left out, I was not unloveable, I was not forgotten, in doing so, I surrendered to God’s way and timing. I was right where God wanted me to be He’s the parent right, so He must knows best! Do you trust your Daddy to know what’s best and when is best? You might be a very organised person with 5-year life plan, but the human vision is often short-sighted in comparison to God’s view of eternity.

When I read about the life of Sarah and Abraham in the Bible these words popped off the page

“…at the appointed time….” (Gen 21 v2, Genesis 17:21). Those words get me every time!

At the appointed time

God’s Timing Is Perfect

They knew that God had a vision, a plan, a hope, direction, a destiny and a purpose for their life, that would impact all of humanity. But do you remember what happened when Sarah tried to rush God’s timing and interfered with God’s plan? It didn’t stop God’s plan from playing out, but because of Sarah’s inability to wait for God to allow things to come together in His time, multiple people in the story ended up with broken hearts. Sarah, Hagar, Ishmael and Abraham to name a few. Read her story and check out the short cuts she took. Have you ever taken any short cuts to make God’s plan come to pass quicker? Let me guess it didn’t work out!

God know’s the best time for the vision to come to fruition and His timing was perfect.

So today I want to encourage my single ladies in Christ today. That God is faithful; he has not forgotten you. If God could find someone for Adam when there were no other human beings on the planet then He can find someone for you. But are you willing to embrace this single season?

You are not single because something is wrong with you. Let go of where you think you should be, how the world tells you should be and where the church sometimes pressures singles to be, and instead seek Gods face knowing that he holds your eternity.

 

Your value is beyond calculation
You are a delightful masterpiece of the Most High God
As a daughter of the King you have royalty built into your DNA
You are a conqueror and a warrior for Christ
You can choose to set your attitude to live from a place of gratitude

You can choose Joy in this season and any other season

 

Having faith, is about more than just knowing God can and that He is able, it’s also about trusting his time too.

Habakkuk 2:3 says “For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the goal – it will not fail. If it seems slow, WAIT for it; it will surely come, it will not delay.

 

Speaking from my own experience, when I said “Lord, I will not compromise, and I do not care if I am 50 when I get married, I don’t care how old I get, I just want I serve you with my whole heart. Single or married. I trust in your timing” and I took my list of things that I wanted in a husband, and I took this letter that I had written to God about getting married, and I binned them both and declared, ‘Lord, you know what I want but most importantly you know what I need and when’. I prayerfully let go and gave it all to him. My single time, from then on was well spent my friend.

As I was serving in ministry, as God called and directed me to guess what? Right there, that’s where I met my Mr. Right-For-Me. Serving in ministry together. After raising my boys as a single mum for 17 years (now that’s a long time) I was about to be a wife. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, I have now, been married to my caring, loving, born-again, holy-ghost filled, talented designer, man-crush-every-day for almost 2 years. I’m not saying to go into ministry and you’ll meet your husband, I’m saying that I was so busy living my life on PURPOSE and being PRESENT, that without out even noticing it I ended up being POSITIONED by God to meet him.

Live Your Best Life Right Where You Are

Live in abundance. If God can do it for me He will do it for you….at the perfect time. ???

We recently did a 4 week study on Philippians in our Facebook group. Philippians 4:23 Paul says this “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content”. Ask God to help you to be content in Him in every season. Journey through Philippians with Paul and see what it’s like to choose Joy in all circumstances of life. (You can find a journal Guide here)

Here are some scriptures about God’ timing and learning to rely on God:

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 16:9 – A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 – He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know you trust God is able and He will, but can you trust in His ‘when’?

Enjoy your current season. Live in peace an cherish every moment because your loving father has amazing plans for your future. But He also planned your today. Cherish today and choose joy.

With heart & hope,

Shovorne

Choose Joy


Here’s a call to action:

1. Join the conversation below and leave a comment about a time when have had to trust God’s timing over your own.

2. send this article to a friend that might need a reminder that God’s timing is perfect.

3. Follow u on Instagram for regular hope-filled squares 

 

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